A simple Google search on sexual attraction in women will tell you that a woman flipping or touching her hair is a sign of her desire. If she licks her lips, she’s into you. If she leans forward, she wants your body. It’s all nonsense, of course. Many of these articles are based on opinion rather than science. They might be how the authors personally perceive or even express attraction and desire, but it’s not universal. It’s not even validated by the scientific community. Signs of sexual attraction can depend on culture, background, and even personality. However, there are a few commonly accepted signs that a woman is sexually attracted to you, and it’s important to understand them.  Why is it so important? Studies have shown that men often overestimate women’s interest and attraction to them based on what they want to believe.  As a woman, I can attest to this. There’s little more frustrating than telling someone outright that we’re not interested and backing it up with body language only to have them believe we are despite all evidence (and words) to the contrary because they’ve projected their desire onto us. It happens more than you think and may be a key reason why some women are brutal when it comes to rejection lest her meaning be confused by his intentions. 

7 Real Signs a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You

1. She Finds Reasons to Touch You

A woman who is sexually attracted to you will find excuses to touch you often. She might sit close enough that you touch, “accidentally” brush your hand when reaching for something, or simply find a reason to playfully and casually touch you when you’re hanging out together. This is a subtle sign that can be easily overlooked because she’s not groping you. The touches will likely seem natural, but it’s a sure sign that if she’s doing it often, she’s experiencing desire. Of course, it’s important to note that sometimes physical contact is just an accident with no sexual meaning behind it. Take care that you don’t interpret every single touch as evidence of attraction. In fact, pay attention to the subtle signs she’s not into you. If you sit down close enough to touch her and she moves away, she’s uncomfortable and not attracted. 

2. She Makes Eye Contact

If a woman is sexually attracted to you, she’ll typically make eye contact and even hold your gaze. The fact that she keeps meeting your eyes could be a good indicator that she’s into you. Eye contact can be a powerful way to communicate interest, but it’s important to read the room and know the different kinds of eye contact and what they mean. Mutually holding a gaze is different than staring at her while she’s daydreaming and not consciously looking your way. Keep in mind that this sign is more likely to happen with neurotypical people. Neurodivergent individuals might be more unlikely to hold eye contact than others. In this case, you may need to look out for other signs of attraction. 

3. She Smiles at You Often

If she keeps smiling at you often – and she does that only with you – she’s probably sexually attracted to you. Keep in mind that if she’s working and getting paid to be friendly, it’s not the same as if you’re meeting at a bar to chat her up. Don’t mistake a friendly worker’s professional demeanor with attraction.  Yet, smiling is one of those key signs of desire in a social situation. Does she light up when you walk into a room? Does she always seem happy to see you? She might be letting you know that she’s very interested in you.

4. She Laughs at Your Jokes

Have you noticed that she laughs a lot and is more animated in your presence? It’s not because your dad jokes just got funnier. If she finds you amusing, this could be an indicator of sexual attraction. Or maybe you just have great comedic timing. You can’t take laughter as the one and only evidence of sexual attraction and run with it. This is just one of the many signs she’ll reveal that indicate she might feel some desire for you.

5. She Initiates Conversation with You

A woman who chats you up and consistently initiates contact might be sexually attracted to you. However, it depends. If you’re lingering around her workspace, she might just be polite. At the same time, in social spaces, a woman making an effort to talk to you is an indicator of interest. You’ll want to read the room though. Just because she strikes up a conversation doesn’t mean she wants to see you naked. It could just mean she wants to make a friend. Instead of projecting what you want, listen to what she has to say. Her flirty conversation might be her go-to communication style with everyone, or she might be letting you know that she’s very interested. Do you have the social skills to figure out which it is — or the courage to ask her out and risk rejection if you get it wrong?

6. She Copies Your Body Language

One of the signs a woman is sexually attracted to you is she will likely mirror your body language. If you lean toward her and she leans toward you, it could be an indicator of attraction. Of course, in a noisy room, it could be an indicator that she just can’t hear you well. Pay attention. If she’s mirroring your movements, it’s an unconscious indicator that she desires you. You touch your face, and she touches her. You turn your body toward her, and she’s responsive by turning toward you. Mirroring is a key indicator of attraction.

7. She Keeps Her Body Language Open

If her arms are crossed and she scoots away from you, that’s a pretty obvious way of saying she’s not interested. Move on, buddy. But if she has open body language that turns toward you, she could be displaying her attraction to you.  Watch for the signs. Is her posture open or closed up and folded in on herself? Does she turn toward you or away? If you step closer, does she step back or seem comfortable with your closer proximity? You can subtly study these signs in natural conversations without making one creepy move after another in an effort to assess interest. Let it come naturally but pay attention.

What To Do If You See All the Signs

If you notice all the signs that she’s into you, there are a few important things you should do before you go any further.

Self-Check

First, make sure you aren’t projecting your desire onto her. Is she showing obvious interest, or are you just choosing to interpret everything she does as proof she likes you as much as you like her? A self-check is important. 

If you suspect she’s into you, you need consent before going further. This doesn’t mean you have to ask if you can kiss her. It does mean that you need to listen to what she’s saying, respect her boundaries, and quit pursuing her if she’s indicated disinterest or outright discomfort. For instance, if you move into kiss her, and she recoils, don’t go back in for another try. 

Risk to Reward

The truth is that there is always an element of risk when it comes to initiating a sexual or romantic relationship with someone else. They might be attracted to you but in a committed relationship. They could be attracted but somehow emotionally unavailable or still grieving from a breakup. There are a lot of reasons someone might show attraction and still not be available to pursue it. On the other hand, without risk, there’s no reward. If she’s showing all the signs of interest, ask her out. She’ll either accept, or she won’t. You won’t know if she’s truly interested without clarifying it. It’s a big risk, but if the interest is mutual, there could be a big reward.

Be Authentic

What’s interesting is that while men are projecting their attraction on women, women tend to be suspicious of all men — even the ones with good intentions. There’s a reason for this. Many women have had the terrible experience of someone misrepresenting themselves in order to garner their interest. Because not everyone has good intentions and women’s safety is a real-world concern, women are going to be more wary of connecting than men. We have to be. The best thing you can do if you’re interested is to be authentic. Don’t be who you think she wants. Be yourself. Otherwise, you’re just heading for disappointment down the road when she realizes you aren’t who you presented yourself to be, and you realize she doesn’t want who you actually are.  Attraction doesn’t have to be difficult. If you’re paying attention, it’s not hard to see the signs. Forget the hair flips and moistened lips, and stick to a more scientific method. She’s making eye contact while smiling and keeps touching you. She thinks you’re funny, and she’s mirroring your body language while you’re flirting with each other. Maybe she’s into you. Maybe she’s just passing the time. There’s only one way to find out. Photo by Jon Ly on Unsplash